


Tower of Cards

by daiyu_amaya



Category: Hellsing, Hellsing Ultimate
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Aftermath of Torture, Enemies to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Slow Burn, WIP
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-26
Packaged: 2018-12-11 21:00:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11722464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daiyu_amaya/pseuds/daiyu_amaya
Summary: Anderson had gone out on a mission and the spy in the Vatican mentions that the man is now missing, Alucard wonders about his enemy and when Alucard is sent after a group of vampires, An unlikely string of events unfolds, bringing the two enemies closer than ever.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> When I started on this I wasn't exactly sure of where to go with it, I knew I wanted to write a romance between Alucard and Anderson. I also knew that while they both seem to like fighting with each other and maybe some respect on both their parts, a romance is really really out of character for the both of them.
> 
> But, I still want to write this. I still want a romance for them because honestly, I saw several stories with them getting at least a quickie in and really wanted more, I wanted a romance for the ages lol Which funny enough is really out there for me. So this little bit of whatever this is decided to play out, whether this actually turns out to be a romance between the two or just a strong friendship-I don't know. Will I finish this story, in time I would like to say yes. 
> 
> WARNING! Before we get on with the story I would like to cover that there are Flashbacks of the death of a minor, rape, and torture. Please, assume that there will be many things to cause triggers or offense. If you feel uncomfortable with that then please hit that back button, this story might not be the right thing for you. Thank you. and Also Thanks to anyone who does actually read this, This is a story out of my comfort zone so any comments you might have please by all means comment, thank you once again and now on with the story!

The scent of blood while normally was a comforting friend, today it wasn't. Today he might find his enemy dead and that wasn't something he wanted to find. Anderson was a treat to fight, something that actually made his blood sing with joy, his lust for battle nearly matching his own. When Anderson died it would be a shame.

The steps to the basement were tacky with grime and drying blood. How many had they dragged down these steps and how much of it was Anderson's blood?  
This 'Nest' had somehow avoided detection for far too long, and to some how best Anderson, was beyond him. How had they managed to bag Anderson? Were they that powerful or had they used something? What could affect A regenerator like Anderson, drugs were out as was most physical attacks...could one of them warp peoples minds? But, Anderson seemed the type who would be able to fight that too...

He quietly reached the bottom of the stairs and froze, Anderson was trembling, he knew someone, something was suddenly in the room with him. The sight of his enemy in the center of the room, a stone slab under his bare chest, metal cuffs that had been driven deep into the stone that not even Anderson's might could move, this was a chance at something a little different and yet...

Anderson blindfolded and nude, obviously these vampires had been feeding on the man, some of his bite marks hadn't healed like they should have. He had to be at his limits if he wasn't healing normally, how long had they had him? The Vatican spy had no idea about how long but they knew that Anderson had been sent on a mission and apparently hadn't come back.  
But to find him in this manner, by sheer luck? It was like seeing the siren after hearing their voice for days. He didn't have many scars, and the tan on his hands and face covered his back nearly to the globes of his buttocks, stopping just shy-this man apparently sunbathed somewhere, sometime. Really it suited him, to know that he soaked in the sunlight- the one thing that caused discomfort to most vampires.

Anderson flinched as his cold hand ran against the warm smooth back of the priest, he never ever touched Anderson like this, was never given the choice because Anderson was full of righteous rage and the utter belief that he was nothing more than god's monster. He wasn't a monster, not yet...Not the way he was, he fed on so many people and killed so much more.  
Anderson's heart began to pound in a quick staccato, that warm blood rushing through his veins, as much as he wanted a taste he knew better. Anderson had been bitten many times recently, he might not have a ton of blood left in his body. He couldn't help but press his lips against the small of the Priest's back, causing said priest to flinch and let out a small growl. Yeah, he wasn't weak-just bound in a manner he couldn't escape.

Alucard dove into the shadows and sought out the vampires that had dared capture his paladin. He fired from the shadows, quick deaths-he didn't know how much longer Anderson would survive, did he have enough blood in his body? The last vampire knew he was coming, knew where he was even shrouded in shadows, this must have been the one who caught Anderson.  
"I take it you're here for the Priest?" He nodded, it really wasn't true when he arrived, but the moment he saw him...His enemy of all people he wanted to take the man and make him better.

"He was easy to lure, the child was crying so prettily, begging to be saved. It was so simple to take the priest." So that was how it happened, damned child, he'd have to save the damned thing or Anderson would never forgive him. "Where is the child?" The vampire laughed a cold, uncaring thing. The child was dead-either dead or turned.

"We killed it after we bound the Priest, he cried so, it was beautiful." Anderson cared deeply for the children he looked after, it was almost like he was Jekyll and Hyde in that respect. Since he hated so freely, but being undead would make anyone hate him he supposed.  
"That was all I needed to know." He pointed Joshua at the head vampire with a smirk; "Your priest isn't the same anymore." He frowned, what did that mean? "Oh?" The bastard smirked, "We bit him a dozen times, and did other things-do you really think he'll be the same?" He fired, the vampire turning to dust so easily.

There were stories about human's becoming addicted to the bite of a vampire, but those were simply rumors and besides Alexander Anderson was hardly the type of human that would become addicted to something he hated so much, it made no sense.  
He made his way back to the basement and Anderson, the man was as alluring as the first time. He stood there, why was he bothered by what that low-level bastard said? Anderson would recover from this hating vampires even more than before. Even more protective of his children.

"Just get it over with..." Anderson said, his thick accent infused with grief. Dear gods, he sounded so choked up, had the death of the child really hurt him this badly? "What were they going to do to you?" He asked and Anderson flinched; "Monster." Well then, it looked like he still hated him as much as usual. "Their all dead for good now if that makes you feel any better?" Damn, he hadn't meant to make it sound like a question. "It doesn't. But, it's a start." He moved, Anderson no doubt needed medical attention.  
He tore the metal bands around Anderson's ankles first and realized there were more bite marks down his thighs. Those damned pieces of trash, how dare they touch Anderson? He stood destroying the bands against his wrists, his wrists were in tatters, Anderson had fought against the metal holding him to the slab of stone...Taking the blindfold off of the man, his eyes were unfocused. God only knew how long those vampires had the damned thing on his face. Anderson let out a huff of breath, "Why is it getting darker in here beast?" and he was out, shit! He caught Anderson's head before it cracked against the stone and let out a long sigh. Well, at least the man wouldn't try to fight against him when he picked him up, Anderson was not in a condition that would allow him to walk out of here after all.

Gently he picked up the large man, there were more wounds on his front, it was pretty torn up from the stone, no doubt he had tried to shake the vampires off of him as they fed upon him. He wished he had more time to torment the vampires that had hurt Anderson but it was too late, they were all truly dead now and it wouldn't have really made much of a difference, at any rate, Anderson had said their deaths didn't really help things anyway.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to thank anyone who has continued at this point in the story, as you can tell the story has been rather tame, the warnings I have posted seem completely glossed over, you would be right-I have yet to get to the heart of them. Alucard has only saved Anderson at this point, he doesn't know what the vampires have done torture wise so we will see more of the warnings applying when I write from Anderson's POV. Please do keep it in mind that this is a new thing for me, I don't write Torture/or rape. These are things that make me uncomfortable but fit in with the world I am writing in. Hellsing and Hellsing Ultimate are both brutal and gory and this is in that world-Torture and rape are both mentioned in the Anime probably the manga too. So please be patient with me, I am unused to writing things like that.

"I suppose there's a reason for this?" Integra seemed irritated and yet at the same time inexplicably relieved that Anderson wasn't going to die. "He was going to die, it was closer to bring him here than else where." Which was true but it was also nice to have Anderson here, where he might not be a slave to the torment he might if he were subjected to children, since there were none here he wouldn't have to see them and think of the one who was used against him.

"Alucard, the doctors...They believe he was more than just bitten." More? Well he had witnessed the death of one of his flock, and it was a child that was under his care, he would blame himself for that death, and the vampires would have mocked him for the child's death as well. Vampires could and were more often than not assholes in his opinion, especially the weak ones."What more could possibly be worse than being bitten?" She frowned, her lips going in a thin line. "They said there was some inflammation of his...his." She turned a bit red and coughed. What exactly was she attempting to say? "The doctors think that they might have molested him, they didn't appear to have gotten around to... to." They hadn't raped the man, that was what she was apparently trying to tell him. Rage welled up in his stomach and throat, how dare they defile his Paladin! There was no way to really tell if that was the case given that the man was after all a regenerator, it was very likely that they had defiled the man...

No wonder he'd been so wary, he would have been just being bitten of course but still. The flinch when he'd...That had been stupid, he shouldn't have kissed Anderson's back if they had done things to him.  
"He'll heal physically, but mentally...He's always had this Bite your arm off personality." Yes he did, it had always excited him when Anderson showed up because he was that way, it was fun to fight the man, fun and now...Now Anderson would change as people always did after getting out of a situation that would damage them.

A brief flash of memory slapping him in the face, the man who dared hold him prisoner...who beat him, used him... No, Anderson wasn't him...But he would change just as he had.  
That was frightening, what if Anderson no longer enjoyed fighting him? The Priest might deny he enjoyed the fighting, saying something along the lines of it was something he had to do...But he did enjoy it and now that might change and he couldn't help but mourn the loss of Anderson if that did in fact change. Even if the man kept fighting him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Bite your arm off" is British slang meaning; someone who is over excited to get something.
> 
> In the contexts I was using I was basically saying Anderson got over excited to see Alucard, someone he likes to fight.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anderson wakes.

He glared at the vampire that held the boy against that inhuman body. "How about we play a game hmm?" The vampire looked down at Ethan, who stared with frightened eyes, Ethan was just a boy- He didn't deserve to be apart of this... Ethan's head was pushed to the side and the bloody heathen sunk his fangs into the pale trembling neck.  
He screamed obscenities at the monster, a swell of pure anger screamed through his bones.  
The monster dropped Ethan like he was nothing more than trash, other vampires gathered around the frail body, their leers and chuckles sickened him. "Maybe we'll just play with him, what do you think of that? Should we turn him? I'm sure he'd make a wonderful vampire don't you?"

He was going to kill them all, kill them and then he could mourn the fact that Ethan had only been targeted because he'd been at the orphanage and because it was the orphanage he worked in. He hated that his love of children had been used against him in this manner, he had never had to worry about his children being attacked because it had never happened before, at least it hadn't been recorded as happening for a century at least...

He opened his eyes, the room was dark and unquestionably not the one he'd been held in. Where was he now? Had they moved? If that was the case why wasn't he bound? No, the monster...Alucard he'd saved him, was he somewhere with the vampire? The door opened and a light turned on, a middle-aged woman in what looked like a nurse's clothing walked in, she seemed surprised to see him awake. "Cor! The doctor said you shouldn't be up till morning." British slang...He had to be with the damned vampire then. He didn't know what to say as she bustled over and pressed a cool hand to his forehead. "Well, you haven't a fever anymore. Good, are you hungry?" He was famished, being a regenerator gave him a higher metabolism so he tended to eat more than a normal person. He nodded and she gave him a bright smile. "I'll be back then, anything you're allergic to?" He shook his head, he was pretty sure he'd never been allergic to anything.

But, being treated so kindly in this heathen filled building...Well, he supposed normal people who really didn't have much to do with the other side would tend to be kind to people who were injured. He shivered, Poor Ethan. The boy hadn't deserved to die like that... Hadn't needed to see the things he had before he died. A choked sob passed through his clenched teeth, how dare those filthy beast do that?  
Ethan had been a good boy, nearly fifteen years old but so good and kind. Likely to join the cloth and become a wonderful priest. All of that potential thrown away simply to hurt and humiliate him.

The food wasn't bad, not he expected it to be. It was just differently named, Warming Welsh cawl, a strange name of course, very British apparently. Filling, something he needed considering his appetite was in full blown frantic mode. It was basically just a lamb stew, very hearty and certainly filling.   
"Sir Hellsing." The Nurse, Ava she'd introduced herself as said with a warmth that spoke of great caring. Like a grandmother would for a child they would dot on. Hellsing simply looked to him, he set his bowl down and let out a breath. He might not like her but she was quite good at her job, The Hellsing Organization was younger and definitely heathens but they believed in God and hated the things that went bump in the night. He wasn't sure why he respected her, but stranger things had happened so it really didn't matter in the long run. "We need to talk."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently, Heavens to Betsy is a British thing basically calling out that the person who said it was surprised lol The person who mentioned it also said mostly older ladies would use it ^_^


	4. Chapter 4

He sipped at his wine, the moonlight causing the wine to shimmer softly, it was nights like this that he enjoyed simply sitting back and forgetting everything.  
Only he couldn't. Not tonight, not when Anderson lay not far away in slumber. Not when the man had nearly died and suffered a fate not fit for one such as him. He turned, leaning against the railing to look into the room that had been behind him, he had chosen this balcony for a reason after all. Anderson slept peacefully, his blond hair glowing in the moonlight, he looked like a younger man in his sleep as most humans did. The stress and hatred wiped clean from that face did wonders for the man.  
He hadn't really ever gotten the chance to simply look at Anderson without fearing attacks. In the moonlight, he looked very nearly like a different man. Maybe he was a different man now, and that thought frightened him suddenly. If Anderson was different what did that mean?

He wished he could have been there sooner, stopped the Vampires from feeding on Anderson, and doing whatever else it was that they had done to the Judas Priest. Rage welled up in his chest, how dare they hurt Anderson?  
His glass shattered as he held it too tightly in his rage, his glove soaked. Alucard let out a sigh, no this business with Alexander Anderson was too personal, too much.

He would be the last to deny that he enjoyed infuriating the Palidin, that he enjoyed their banter and even respected the man.  
But, with Anderson going through whatever he was going through he worried about what that would do to their relationship as enemies. Would Anderson still be able to fight him, to banter with him? Or would that change now that he knew the bite of a vampire? He knew more about the monsters he fought, at least the scum that pretended to be vampires.   
Though if Anderson stopped fighting him, he supposed it was better than the Paladin being dead-that he could at least bother him if they met. Anderson would always be The Paladin, would always fight against vampires. There wasn't a future he could see that would have Anderson stop fighting altogether. God, above he was losing his mind in this circular thought, he wouldn't know one way or another until he interacted with Anderson again. So, it was no use to think of what if's.

A groan distracted him, Anderson seemed to be in the throes of a nightmare. Damn, he had seemed so peaceful just a moment ago, and he couldn't comfort the man...Why would he want to? He sighed, he'd become obsessed with the Priest-After all Anderson might be able to beat him, he hadn't really felt that way about many others, Anderson was special because of that.  
If Anderson stopped fighting him he'd lose an avenue to his death. Anderson turned, tears sliding down his face.  
Alucard shivered, the pure anguish was too much. He couldn't endure looking at the face anymore, he turned and sunk through shadows to his own room. No, he didn't want to deal with this new information. The youth and pain, he didn't want to remember those things on Anderson's face-he wouldn't be able to forget.

Anderson's POV  
The darkness surrounded him, whispers of how he failed, of how it was all his fault that Ethan had died. "Shut Up!" He was sick of this, he hadn't meant for Ethan to die! Ethan was going to be a Priest one better than him, one that would actually do good for others!  
But it was too late now, Ethan was dead... "But, it wasn't your fault Judas Priest." Alucard emerged from the darkness, his claret eyes staring him down, glowing brightly.  
This wasn't...It was his fault and the monster shouldn't tell such lies. "I killed him." Alucard shook his head, dark tendrils of his hair slithering across his red duster, Alucard stepped forward his arms sliding around him as the monster decided to tempt fate and hug him.

The faint smell of death and decay was comforting for some reason, Alucard shifted closer, "It's never your fault for what monsters do to others, no matter what you might think. It's not your fault the boy is dead, nor is it your fault for being raped by those vampires who would dare try to tame you."  
He clutched at the duster, he knew. Alucard knew that the vampires had violated him! He pushed away, this wasn't. How dare Alucard mention what those damned monsters had done to him!

"It was my fault! I should have done something differently! I could have killed them all and none of this would be happening!" Alucard simply stood there, waiting it seemed, but for what! He knew he was a monster and that he'd go to hell, Alucard would simply be there to greet him when he made it there.  
The fact that he'd lost something important wasn't lost on him! He hadn't been a virgin when he'd joined the cloth, but he'd taken a vow of chastity, it wasn't about the prohibition for a single sexual relationship with another. it was having an open heart to welcome everyone into his life, his ability to not exclude anyone from his heart, and to have that vow attacked in such a manner!

" _The righteous perish, and no one takes it to heart; the devout are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil. Those who walk uprightly enter into peace; they find rest as they lie in death._ "

Alucard chuckled; "Amen." He wanted to roll his eyes at the vampire, he shouldn't make light of the Bible, nor of the death of a child. But what more could he expect from a thrice damned vampire? "You wouldn't understand monster, you live in sin. You are no better than the vampires that took Ethan, you and your ilk are all scum and deserve to go to hell!"

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

It was quiet for the moment, he wished that the blindfold wasn't on his face-he knew something was in the room with him, the whisper of cloth against cloth... "Alexander." Alucard. What was he doing here? He shivered when a cold hand ghosted against his bare back. "You're worth more to me than gold, you're the only one who really has a chance against me, the only one who might grant me eternal death."

What was he talking about? Why was he saying such things to him? Alucard must have lost what little of his mind he had if that was what he thought currently. After what those heathens did to him, he shuttered no, he wasn't fit to fight and win anymore against Alucard. "Wakey wakey little priest! Did you have pleasant dreams?" The bastards were back, damn them all to the lowest pits of hell.  
"We're going to play a new game with you tonight!" Another dared to say, this wasn't going to end well for them, but he couldn't get out of his shackles, he'd been trying only tearing up his wrists to the bone. Something hissed and pain coursing down his spine as something cold slid down his back. "So you can feel pain! We were starting to wonder if you'd be any fun!" He gritted his teeth, he was going to escape and murder every last one of them! The blindfold was ripped from his eyes and he blinked, there were a few vampires in front of him, some grinning others just observing. One of them, the leader- was holding an iron bar, one end bright cherry red. "Here's the game priest, we know you can take a bit of pain, but can he?" He swallowed thickly, they were going to hurt Ethan-those heretical bastards were going to torture a child!

Ethan looked pale and afraid as the vampires slowly lowered him onto the Judas Chair, Ethan screamed as they bound him to the chair, the scent of blood rolling through the room; "The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I lack. In green pastures you let me graze; to safe waters, you lead me; you restore my strength. You guide me along the right path for the sake of your name. Even when I walk through a dark valley, I fear no harm for you are at my side; your rod and staff give me courage!" Ethan prayed even as he bled and the vampires laughed...He could withstand this, he could make it through this-all they needed was to be found, if they could last that long if Ethan could just live till they were found then they would make it out of this.  
"God indeed is my salvation, I am confident and unafraid. For the Lord is my strength and my might and he has been my salvation."

Ethan looked at him with a tearful smile, just a moment before a vampire nudges him causing the spikes no doubt to go deeper into his thin arms. Ethan screamed again, shivering as the pain overwhelmed his senses, blood puddling beneath the Judas Chair. "Now now priest there's plenty to go around for you!" The cold pain swished across his back, muscles tensing, teeth grinding together-anything to stop from screaming at the pain. Ethan needed to see strength, not weakness from him, Needed to know that he could endure the pain if his mentor could.  
A few of the vampires chuckled, "Now now, let out wonderful screams for us! It won't do if you don't!" Cold pain intruded into his side, the bastard had stabbed him! His teeth throbbed in protest as he mashed them together to hold in a scream that the thrice damned vampires wanted to hear. Ethan's eyes were huge, tears streaking down that fearful face.

"This won't do, no it won't." There was laughter all around him, these scum were going to die as soon as he was freed from his restraints-they would die and burn in hell for the rest of time!  
Hands pressed against his back and shoulders, what the hell did they think they were doing! He tensed as more hands grabbed his buttocks and exposed him further, "NO!" He struggled against the hands and his bindings as fingers intruded into his body, stretching him painfully. The shiver of laughter that cast about the room infuriating him more as they attacked him in such a manner. A scream finally shredded his throat as the red hot bar again made itself known, this time ripping deep into his body, the agony burning through all his sensitive nerves, cascades of pain ruining any sense he had left leaving him blind and voiceless.

"Anderson!"  
A voice called out, something in that voice thick-almost as if they were afraid...It wasn't Ethan's terror stricken voice, no a deeper voice was calling out to him...Who?

"Wake up! God Damn it don't make me come in there and thrash you!" He opened leaden eyes and found carmine eyes staring back, dark hair slithering down slim shoulders covered in a thin white shirt that looked rather out of date, loose around the neck and chest, pale skin exposed from the gap in the shirt making the shirt look off white.  
He flinched back as his brain caught up with him, Alucard looked both irritated and relieved that he'd come back to his senses.  
"Wha?" Alucard chuckled as he flung himself to the other side of the bed as far away from the damned vampire as fast as possible. "You were having a nightmare, your screams woke a good part of the house up." He felt the back of his neck and ears warm, It hadn't been a nightmare-just a memory.

"I'm awake." Alucard's eyes narrowed. "No, I thought you were still asleep." The sarcasm thick in his voice, he shook his head; "Just go away beast." Alucard's bow was just as sarcastic as his earlier words. The sight of that pale smooth chest made him want to turn away, to never see such a sight again.  
It made Alucard too human to be sloppily dressed as he was, his hair falling into his face messily. Alucard drifted through the shadows on the floor and he was once again alone with the echo of his memories haunting him.          

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, I'm never going to be good at writing torture- Just the reaction my body had on writing was horrible. my throat closed up and now burns, my jaw hurts from clenching my teeth, my stomach feels like someone shoved a spike through it all of this just trying to write out the meager scene that I did yikes this was not the right thing to write for me to write T_T But I'll pull through because there is a ton of this story left to write!! I'll try to update when I can but between work, both my job and other writing and my life as little of one there is beyond writing it might be a while before I manage so please don't be discouraged, I will write more-there is no turning back on this story my muses will hardly let me write let alone think of anything else beyond this story lol


	6. Chapter 6

He wasn't actually surprised that Maxwell hadn't sent anyone to collect him, Hellsing had admitted to telling Maxwell what had transpired. The Church would no doubt send a letter excommunicating him in the days that were yet to come.   
It wasn't fair that he should be punished for the sins of others, but it was considered his sin as well-to allow those beasts to use him in such a manner... No, he had no doubts he would have to repent for a very long time since he'd gone and broken a vow.   
There was nothing for it, he would have to travel back, perhaps Hellsing would want to get rid of him quickly and grant him passage back home?

"Um, Sir Hellsing would like to talk to you." He blinked and looked down at the blond vampire, she was so innocent looking but being a vampire made that impossible. Though it should have been impossible for her to be in the sun, even as weak as it was, was there things even he still had to learn about vampires in general or was it just Alucard and his childe?  
It wasn't odd that she'd found him either, she had visited him several times, sometimes bringing food for him, or just sitting next to him, usually it was night when he sat out on this bench, his healing had been swift once he started to eat again, but there were just some things food couldn't heal. "Thank you lass." He made his way to Hellsing's office, assuming that would be where he'd find her since Victoria hadn't exactly said where. She seemed rather meek when around him, honestly he shouldn't have been surprised considering that he had stabbed her repeatedly when they had first met...But now he wasn't the same man, he knew that-they all knew that...He was even less of a man than he had been before. Before Ethan was murdered before he failed to stop vampires as his nature dictated.

Hellsing was just lighting up as he entered her office, she looked rather put out, what exactly did she want, was she going to tell him to leave and leave him stranded in this strange country? Fear burned in the back of his throat, he would live of course, maybe even make his way back to the Vatican, but it would take him longer than he would like... "I've had a rather...Interesting if you would, conversation with Maxwell." Had she and why would Maxwell have spoken to her? Why her and not him, was he really that- That tainted? "Oh?" She nodded and motioned for him to take a seat, the chair groaned under his weight and Hellsing leaned back in her own chair. "He wishes for me to provide you sanctuary until such a time that you could return home." Wasn't he even allowed to come back to repent? He was truly alone then, with no one to help him repent all of his sins.  
He couldn't look at her anymore and shut his eyes tightly against the pain her words brought, that was worse than he had assumed it would be. "I'm never going back am I." Hellsing sighed; "As of currently no...No, I don't see them allowing you back. Maxwell and I agree that it would be best if you stay in the hands of someone who might be against for the most part the Vatican but still on the same side. Rather than falling into the wrong hands." So he was to haunt this place a bit longer...Forever maybe.  
"I suppose you want something from this arrangement." Hellsing shook her head, "Only that you see a shrink, it might help you. Though it is up to you when you are ready, honestly I think it's an option you really need to consider, because from what I've been told...You've literally been ghost like in the time you've already been here." A Shrink. Would they be able to even comprehend what he'd been through? He really doubted that besides that transgression was between him, God, and the monsters who caused him to sin in the first place. "I'll think about it."

"Master. Can't we do anything?" Seras looked up sadly at Alucard, a frown her only answer. She looked out and slightly up at the moon, her sire shifted. "If there was anything we could have done...it would have been to stop it before it even happened, but the past is the past and cannot be changed."  
He sounded rather melancholy to Seras and she glanced at him, his eyes were solemn and sad in her opinion. "Master...I don't mean to pry, but... You sound like you...I dunno', understand what he's going through." Alucard sighed, his eyes shifting away... "Back when I was young and alive, my brother and I were 'gifted' to a sultan who didn't much like disobedience, he like so many during that time figured the best way to make someone obedient was to...defile them." Seras' eyes widened; "He...He hurt you?" Alucard looked at her with a blank face; "Repeatedly, but I've been dead a very long time and so has he." She couldn't believe the words out of his mouth, to know that his attacker was dead wasn't enough in her opinion, to simply remember-no She realized very quickly that didn't make things right...Seras shivered; "I knew that the bastards that hurt my mum and father-I knew they were punished but that didn't make things right." Alucard turned more fully to her; "Seras." She shook her head. "It won't ever heal will it, only just get worse and worse until you can't take it anymore and become a monster." Her arms wrapped around her body; "I don't want that to happen-I don't want to be like you." Seras regretted her words the moment she spoke them, Alucard flinched and looked away; "May you never be like me then."

She was suddenly alone, tears flowing softly down her cheeks; "I'm so sorry my master."

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few slurs and some torture, I do not condone any of this, it's a rather disturbing chapter to me, honestly, I don't want to know from what dark pit of my brain this came from T_T

His throat was on fire, Alucard's hands around his neck, his harsh breath loud in his ears. "This is all your fault you damned Judas Priest!" He let out a cry as each word was punctuated with a thrust from the vampires hips against his clothed bottom.  
He snarled at the words, Alucard attacked him, he didn't want this! He wasn't some sort of faggot that got off on other men!  
"Go to the deepest pits of hell vampire scum!" He struggled against Alucard and was rewarded with a stinging pain, across his chest as Alucard clawed him nearly to the bone. "You practically begged me for this! You want me to do this you sick freak!"  
Alucard ripped open his pants and sneered at his now nude form. "Who would want you? You're nothing more than a pathetic tool the Vatican doesn't even want anymore!"  
NO, no this wasn't happening this couldn't be real- He hadn't seen Alucard since he had a nightmare one of the first nights he was aware he'd been taken to Hellsing.

Why was Alucard doing this to him? The Monster might have been a lot of things but this...He'd never shown the capacity for such cruelness before, at least not to him. So, why now-why this way? Alucard drew something that glinted in the bright moonlight, one end was round before tapering down into a handle, Alucard grinned with so much malicious intent that he flinched, wanting to get away from that look as quickly as he could, but he couldn't even move. It was like he'd froze, Alucard brought down the metal 'wand' and he screamed as something liquid burned his skin with the intense heat it brought. "Heated Oil, hurts like hell but you deserve everything you get."

Alucard flicked the vile thing again and he arched attempting not to scream as more boiling oil sizzled against his skin, His neck muscles becoming tense- every breath like sucking in fire and ash. Again and again, Alucard caused the scaling oil to burn his flesh, he lost track of how many times he was forced to endure the pain before Alucard stopped and admired his handy work.

He must have passed out because Alucard was leering at him from several inches in front of his face and he was no longer on his back. He tried to move away only to feel pain against his balls, he groaned at the intense discomfort. "The Humbler rather appropriate for you isn't it?" Alucard moved away from his face and out of his sight- What was the mad Vampire going to do to him?! "Normally the pear of anguish was used to silence a subject, but I believe there is another use for this particular item." He'd never heard of this 'pear of anguish' before-what exactly was it? "No one really agrees on when or who made these but well, who cares when it is something that can be used to subdue others? In one way or another hm?" He shuttered as something cold and smooth pressed against his anus. Slowly what ever it was slid deeper, the device grew wider till he could barely stand the pain it was causing him. "There, how does that feel Judas Priest? Good? It's about to feel a lot better!" He felt Alucard shift before a nearly inaudible click sounded.  
He screamed as the device practically sprang open if it wasn't for his body around it, gutting him open like a fish. His ears were ringing, eyes tearing up, this pain was like nearly nothing else he'd ever felt-even what those monsters did to him didn't feel like this...

He gasped and fell. The rough stone of the floor cold and Anderson shivered against it, that...Oh lord in heaven-that had been too- Too personal considering Alucard had saved him from the vampires that had tainted him...To have a dream in which he would turn around and do such terrible things to him.  
He slowly rose to his feet, trembling like a new born foal. He needed to... what? Get away? There was no getting away from his own mind, No doubt he would have more nightmares as time passed.  
Someone knocked on his door and he froze, no. No one should see him like this...Had they heard him screaming again? He unsteadily made his way to the door and found Seras on the other side, her face pale and her eyes wide. He knew he must have looked a mess. "I...You called out for help. I don't know why I heard it-but are...Are you alright?"

He'd called out for help? How no one else seemed to be looking out their doors to find out what was going on and her bedroom was in the basement with Alucard's.  
"How could you have heard me? I didn't seem to wake anyone else?" She shrugged with a small smile; "I'm still learning but I think it must have been a telepathic call of some sort-I mean you were really distressed after all."  
Anderson nodded, he really wasn't sure how that was possible...Had he formed some sort of link between them? "I know a nice warm cup of cocoa always made me feel at least a little better...and a conversation can distract you from whatever nightmare you had..." He smiled weakly at the young vampire, she might have become one of the undead-but she was still a kind lass. "Lead the way." He closed his door, uncaring of his appearance if anyone said anything about his pajama's all he would have to do is point out that Seras had sheep printed all over her pink pajamas.

The kitchen was a rather massive affair, the manor probably once hosted massive parties and the kitchens must have been bustling with cooks, maids, and butlers. It now smelled of cleaning supplies and polish rather than food, not that there weren't plenty of people in the Manor, considering the soldiers who worked here, some wouldn't be able to make it home in a night or day, so they stayed in the barracks, but meals were made in this building.  
"I've heard that Sir wants you to see a head-doctor." He blinked at the blond, she knew about that? Hell, everyone probably knew about it. "She does, but she wants me to decide when I'll go..." Seras nodded; "She made me go too after she realized that Alucard wasn't really helping me through the whole 'I died' process." He wasn't overly surprised by Hellsing doing that, but Alucard-why wouldn't he help her through that? Had he not gone through a period of time in which he had contemplated his own death and what that meant for him?

"The one you saw, did it help any? I mean what we see on a nearly nightly basis, they'd have to know to be any help, right?" Seras nodded; "He used to be part of the Hellsing organization as a fighter, but he got older and wanted to help those in the organization, whose minds couldn't quite cope with all the things we see. So he knows vampires and other being are out there and he knows some are really vile."   
Maybe he should see the man, at least get a feel for what it would be like, maybe at the most he could get rid of the cursed nightmares he was having.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pictures of the instruments used on Anderson Some are fairly graphic I'll put a ** next to those just so you don't look at ones that show male genitalia:
> 
> http://www.medievality.com/images/torture/lead-sprinkler.gif
> 
> **https://www.onlineshop-bdsm.de/WebRoot/Store3/Shops/62831920/55C0/D015/9E7B/331E/1051/C0A8/2BBA/EADF/Hodenpranger_Humbler_Hodensack-Klemme_c.jpg
> 
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pear_of_anguish#/media/File:Oral_pear.jpg


End file.
